Lately
I’ve been ruminating on the concept known by us humans as friendship. I suspect
it something that evolved with us over time, its deepest roots no doubt a key
to our ancestors' survival. But in our so-called modern age, is friendship
still not a key to our survival and hence of vital importance to get straight
in one’s head!
There
are a confounding number of ways defining friends and friendships in daily
life! You’ve likely heard of: “just friends”, “good friends”, “really good
friends”, “best friends”, “best friends forever” or even “friends with
benefits” to name but a few! Of course, these days we even have our “virtual
friends” made through Social Media. But wait, when it comes right down to it, haven’t
we all experienced virtual friendship; predating the advent of the internet.
There
are many experiences of friendships coming and going throughout lives.
Friendships more virtual or transient in nature; many of them could be
categorized as above. Likely our first experiences with this were friendships
developed as we moved through the system devised for us in our society. This as
it took us from play school through elementary, then on to high school and
beyond. Recall how many, thought of as friends, moved through your life along
the way.
To
them, add those casual friendships made in workplaces or while revolving in social
circles. Did you ever find some to be contrived or manipulative, leaving one
wondering whether you were actually a friend or victim? As such, should they
ever have been defined as any more than acquaintances or associations, nay
friends or friendships?
If
the concept of a friend or friendship is so deeply rooted and intrinsic to our
survival as I believe it to be, then perhaps what is most at fault in all this
is how we have come to trivialize or demean it! In our pursuit of them and it,
perhaps we’ve been too hasty to ascribe “friend and friendship” to these
various relationships or associations along the way. It was Muhammad Ali who said, “If you haven't learned the
meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.”
In
my struggle to learn of its meaning, I’ve come to believe that certain qualities
of a real friend and aspects of a real friendship are both intangible and
priceless. To my notion, friendships which eclipse all others are ones mutually supportive and unconditional in
nature. Best friends know they don’t need each other’s approval of everything
they do, but what they do need is their “unconditional support.” It’s what real
friends mutually provide when no one else offers it and bedrock of the truest
and best friendships of all.
